Today's Woot Write-up
Looking for a summer romance? Don't keep on "negging" your way to heartbreak. All the real players have moved to "fanning" instead!
Face it, fellas, those supermodels all have library cards, and they've read the same books you've read. "The Game" just doesn't work any more. If you want to really bring home the babes in baskets, you need to follow the Black & Decker High Velocity Fan method. Wanna know more? No? Well, then, that TV show you like is dumb. NOW do you want to know more? Of course you do!
With three simple features, the Black & Decker High Velocity Fan can make you the hottest face in the club. One. Two. Three.
ONE: HIGH-INTENSITY. The Black & Decker High Velocity Fan has three speed settings. Go in on low, find your target, then ramp it up to high. Boom! Instantly cool.
TWO: VERSATILITY. The Black & Decker High Velocity Fan is wall mountable and also happy to sit on the floor. Set it down anywhere, it'll figure out the best way to take over the room and bring it down a few degrees. Before long, everyone will notice just how cool things have gotten. And you can make your move.
THREE: WITTY BANTER. Pickup lines delivered straight? Pfft. Too 1970s. Pickup lines delivered through the plastic housing and blades of a Black & Decker High Velocity Fan? Ironic! Witty! Self-referential! AMAZING! And suddenly, you're practically a Daily Show writer!
Don't make yourself wind up looking like a jerk by "negging" down the beach this summer. Start "fanning" and stay one step ahead of all those betas who get their game from pfft books. You're getting yours from a website! That's so much more 21st Century!
