We hired a scientist and a professional spelunker to explore the deep pockets of the Pima sheets. What they found might surprise me.
We're here today with scientist Sallywell Dorfmordor...
...and avid spelunker Shontina Mathbracket...
SHONTINA: We prefer to be called cavers.
...to find out how deep the pockets on the Pima Cotton Deep Pocket Sheets go.
SALLYWELL: Wait, I thought I was here to talk about string theory.
Not anymore. Hold this walkie-talkie and talk to Shontina as she descends.
[SHONTINA disappears into the sheet pocket. Several minutes pass. SALLYWELL turns on the walkie-talkie.]
SALLYWELL: What do you see?
SHONTINA: A lot of soft fibers. A few bats. A dragon.
SALLYWELL: What, really?
SHONTINA: Nah, I was kidding about the bats. Dragon, though.
SALLYWELL: Anything in there that might have some relation to string theory-
SHONTINA: Hang on, Doc Dorf. I see something up ahead.
SALLYWELL: Is it moving?
SHONTINA: No, it's shiny and...ok, it's a spinning diamond.
SALLYWELL: A spinning-
SHONTINA: It's just hovering in the air and spinning.
SHONTINA: Correct, a spinning diamond.
SALLYWELL: I'm sure there's a perfectly rational-
SHONTINA: The diamond just spoke to me.
SALLYWELL: Repeat, Shontina, did you just say-
SHONTINA: It wants to know if 'Sons of Anarchy' is a good TV show.
SHONTINA: I've never seen it, can anyone up there comment?
SHONTINA: Ok, I'm coming back up.
And there you have it!
SALLYWELL: Have what?
...good night everybody!