Microderm. Because you can't rub your face with hard lava rocks comfortably.
Your face, right now, is covered in dead skin. We know this because it's true. Each day, your face loses a certain number of skin cells and they just kinda hang out there until they go away. The truth is, you could wait patiently and the skin would take care of itself. But who has time to wait? And if you wait, what about those skin cells that are underneath? THEY'RE GOING TO DIE TOO!!!!! And then the cycle of death continues.
Or, you can microdermabrase. You can non-invasively remove that layer and let the fresh, young skin cells show off while they're still fresh and young. You know, like when they bring in someone new and cute to help a failing TV show take off again? That always works! And it'll work for your skin as well.
Don't think of it as a spray of crystals scrubbing dead skin off your face. Think of it as Cousin Oliver, come to rebuild The Brady Bunch. Think of it as Scrappy Doo, come to save a dying cartoon. There, see? Now you've got the concept! You don't have to be afraid of microdermabrasion any more.