Stop sleeping on top of your fears and heartbreak. Sleep on a mattress instead!
When we fall asleep, we're vulnerable. Vulnerable to sad old memories and reflection on our past mistakes. How do we counter this? We counter this by being so comfortable that we can think of nothing else but the glory of our opulent memory foam.
The time in kindergarten we couldn't make it to the potty? Lost to the foam.
That time in third grade our crush rejected us? Lost to the foam.
That time we got a D and couldn't go to the school dance? Lost to the foam.
That time in band class we thought pianissimo was one of The Three Stooges? Lost to the foam.
The horrors of our second graduation? Lost. To. THE. FOAM.
Don't carry your sad, sad past with you. Give it up to the foam. Go forth well-rested and free.