Your destiny is always in motion! Today you stand before two paths. Which of these Hoover Floorcare devices to you buy? We shall consult... THE ORACLE!
You stand now before the all-knowing Oracle! Bow down! Bow down! Sing praises and ask if you can pick up the check for the impending lunch! For only the Oracle knows the outcome and destiny that comes from choosing one of these Hoover Floorcare devices! WHICH SHALL YOU ASK ABOUT FIRST????
If you ask about the Hoover WindTunnel T-Series Rewind Plus Bagless Upright:
The Oracle congratulates you! Your character is beyond reproach, and your honor gleams like a thousand suns. That's a thousand suns all at once, not one after the other. One after the other would just be annoying.
By choosing a Hoover WindTunnel T-Series Rewind Plus Bagless Upright, you are moving toward a higher plane of being. A plane where the dry husk that is you will dissolve like a snakeskin in the sun. Which you can then vacuum up using the Hoover WindTunnel T-Series Rewind Plus Bagless Upright before you ascend to the glorious future which clearly awaits you. Remember: with a Hoover WindTunnel T-Series Rewind Plus Bagless Upright at your side, there is nothing you cannot achieve. Set aside the old you and embrace the tomorrows ahead.
If you ask about the Hoover WindTunnel 3 Pro Bagless Upright:
The Oracle warns you. Dark clouds are on the horizon. One you have wronged is returning to judge you for your shortcomings and mistakes. Be prepared! Have a Hoover WindTunnel 3 Pro Bagless Upright on hand to clean your surroundings so that you may be above reproach! Sidestep the aggressor and watch him fall into a pile of dust, then laugh in a way that only the clean can. Supreme glory awaits you if you purchase this Upright in time!
If you say you don't want to buy either Upright:
The Oracle wishes you the best in dealing with the misfortune that will surely come your way. Also, they're towing your car. No, the Oracle doesn't know where they take it. The Oracle knows many other things, but you clearly don't want to listen to THOSE things so whatever, figure out the car situation on your own.