An extra-big towel. Because ain't nobody wanna see that.
No, we're not shaming anyone. We're just saying that most of us don't want to see you danglin' around after a shower. And you know it works both ways, right? Cause you sure don't want to see us either. We as a society have forgotten the simple joys of modesty and minding our own damn business. And it's these two principles on which the Bath Sheet is built.
ONE: THE BATH SHEET IS TURKISH COTTON IN A GENEROUS SIZE. Be ye big or be ye teenie, that bath towel means we don't see your- we need to be clear here, of course. This bath towel DOES work for any gender. It's just that not every gender has a part that rhymes with "teenie." You follow?
TWO: THE BATH SHEET COMES IN A SET OF TWO. That means you can walk around the house completely covered no matter how many pool boys or pizza delivery men just happen to be outside. Yes, yes, we've all seen THOSE movies. And how do they end? Suddenly and with no long-term commitment! Is that what you really want in life? IS IT?????
The Bath Sheet is your gateway to a society in which we aren't all posting everything on "the cloud" for people to stare at 24/7. The Bath Sheet is a return to those innocent times when skin was something special. THE BATH SHEET IS MORAL AND UPSTANDING AND THE SORT OF YOUNG PERSON WE WANT TO VOTE FOR AS OUR STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT.
It's just a shame that bath sheets aren't eligible for the position. You ask us, it's what this county needs.