Proper serving utensils know no bounds … including age.
"I'm really sorry about that, Ma'am. Let me just talk to my boss over here and see what we can do for you," said Lisa.
"Hey Maurice. That lady over there just brought back this Mikasa Gourmet Basics 50-Pc set," Lisa said, gesturing towards the crotchety elderly woman with the cane standing on the other side of the counter.
"More like 49-piece set!" the old lady yelled with a huff.
"Yeah. And?" said Maurice.
"Well, she said there's a piece missing. The cold meat fork," explained Lisa.
"I gotta serve my cold cuts!" yelled the old lady again.
"Did you check it?" asked Maurice.
"Yeah," said Lisa. "It's all there. Eight teaspoons, place spoons, salad forks, place forks, place knives, extra teaspoons, one tablespoon. Just no cold meat fork."
"Can't expect my guests to be picking up rolled ham with their fingers, now can I?" yelled the old lady.
Jimmy had been listening in and came over. "What about the hot meat fork?"
"Huh?" said Lisa.
"Yeah. Where's the hot meat fork, Lisa?" Maurice said with a smirk.
"I, uh … it doesn't say on the box there's supposed to be a hot meat fork," said Lisa, obviously confused.
"Oh come on, Lisa," said Jimmy. "Every lady needs a hot meat fork, don't you think?"
Lisa looked back and forth between Jimmy and Maurice until it finally dawned on her what they were getting at. "That's just great, guys. REAL mature."
Jimmy and Maurice burst into laughter.
"What?" said Jimmy innocently. "You think just because a lady is a little past her prime, she doesn't still enjoy a little hot meat now and again?"
"Hey! Can you bozos hurry it up already? I need to eat. I gotta take my pill!" yelled the old lady.
"See!" said Jimmy. "Lady's gotta eat!"
Lisa flashed them both a dirty look and then turned back to the old lady. They continued to snicker behind her.
"I can offer you a full refund on this Satin Tanner set, Ma'am. Or perhaps you'd like to exchange it for the Contempo set?"