The last thing you want to hear while wielding a professional knife is that you're losing your edge.
"Have you heard?" blared the TV into the empty room. "Shirt.Woot's opened up a plethora of past designs for sale! Hurry yourself on over and-"
"Ugh," Sylvia said as she picked up the remote and turned off the TV. "There is NOTHING good on during the day."
Seeing as how she was in hiding and all, Sylvia had a lot of time on her hands. At least now that Rod had discovered her bunker under the floor boards, she could move about freely through the house.
But she was starting to go a little stir crazy. Since daytime TV wasn't cutting it, she decided to try her hand at a little cooking. She found Rod's Rachael Ray 3-piece knife set in the kitchen. But instead of chopping veggies or trimming meat, she got side-tracked with her own culinary-inspired rendition of Little Red Riding Hood.
"My my, Mr. 4" paring knife. What big … trimming, coring and peeling abilities you have," she said with a hint of naiveté.
"All the better to add creative decorative touches to my crudite," she replied in a more sinister voice.
"And look at you, Madam 5" serrated utility knife. What a lovely double serrated edge you have."
"All the better to trim meats, cut cheese and slice tomatoes with."
Sylvia giggled a little at the "cut cheese" part.
"And last but not least, Mr. Santoku knife. What a very thin blade and exceptionally sharp cutting edge you have."
"All the better to slice through vegetables, meats … and YOUR NECK! Muahahahahahaha." Sylvia pretended to struggle with the Santoku knife, ran screaming around the kitchen island, and finally "died" dramatically on the kitchen floor with her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth.
When she opened her eyes, Rod was standing over her.
"We really need to get you out of this house. And soon," he said.
"Tell me about it," she said and raised her arm so he could help her up.