Remington King of Shaves Kit

by wootbot

Remington Steal

If you want to be a charming thief turned fictitious figurehead turned actually pretty decent private investigator, you're gonna need a good shave. And also a great publicist.

"But what do you even know about being an actor?" Danielle said to Phil, who was standing in front of her sink, just about to open his Remington King of Shaves kit.

"I know how to look good," said Phil as he pursed his lips and raised one eyebrow into the mirror. "What else is there?"

"Oh, I dunno," said Danielle sarcastically. "Experience? Believability. Talent?"

"Hey, that actress friend of yours, Lisa, is the one who even tipped me off to the audition," said Phil as he squirted a big glob of shaving cream into his hand and lathered it on his face. "She said they're rethinking the concept for the remake. The main character is going to be less Bond and more Fife, whatever that means. Anyway, she said I'd be perfect for the role."

"Phil, Barney Fife was a bumbling idiot. That wasn't a compliment."

"Pssh. No, you must have that confused. The guy in the original Remington Steele was dead sexy. His chest was one luxurious mound of unbridled man hair! The guy with the mustache," Phil explained as he carefully navigated the 5-blade razor with the S-Flex technology around his face, purposefully skipping over his upper lip.

"Pretty sure you're thinking of Tom Selleck. And he wasn't in Remington Steele. He was in Magnum P.I.," said Danielle.

"No, Tom Selleck was the guy in Miami Vice."

"Wrong again. That was Don Johnson."

"Well then who WAS the guy in Remington Steele?"

"Pierce Brosnan."

"Huh. Never heard of him."

"What?! James Bond?"


"The Thomas Crown Affair?"

"Nuh uh."

Danielle sighed heavily. "Mrs. Doubtfire."

"OH! THAT guy!"