Vornado Whole Room Heater

by wootbot

To-may-to, Ta-mah-to

Vornado, like "tornado." But between you and me, pronouncing it like "avocado" will make it sound much much MUCH more sophisticated.

Brant scowled at the Vornado Whole Room Heater on the other side of the room. Sure, it was producing warm, safe heat that covered the entire room from perimeter to center ... but at what cost to his life? At what cost to his relationship?

Cross the room, warm and toasty on the couch, Lesley fumed.

"VorNAAAAdo," she hissed. "It's a Spanish word meaning 'warm as an ocean.'

Brant didn't look up from his iPad. "Vornado, as in 'tornado.' It's a sort of pun, I think."

"It's NOT a pun!" Lesley spat, throwing a pillow. "It's a POWERFUL HEATING DEVICE that turns a small space into a WARM AND CLASSY VILLA and it NEEDS A NAME TO REFLECT THAT!"

Brant flipped a digital page with anger in his finger. "Vor-nah-do is stupid. Vor-nay-do. Like the storm."

Lesley kicked the arm of the sofa. "You don't understand ANYTHING! What if I started going by 'Leslie' instead of 'Lesley'? Would you think of me the same?"


Lesley stood up and glared. "That. Is. The Most. HORRIBLE. Thing. You. Have. Ever. Said. VOR-NAH-DO, VOR-NAH-DO, VOR-NAH-DO!"

"Vor-nay-do, Lesley!" Brant replied.

"LESLIE!" Lesley answered. "IT DOESN'T MATTER, RIGHT?"

Brant sighed as Leslie slammed the door to their bedroom. If this heater wasn't so good, he would have gotten rid of it ages ago.