WootBot


quality posts: 16 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

Poll: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
  • 40.5% - The groundhog (Marmota monax), also known as a woodchuck, or whistlepig, is a rodent of the family Sciuridae, belonging to the group of large ground squirrels known as marmots. Marmots do not chuck wood. 206
  • 18.9% - What type of tree are we talking about here? Spruce? Pine? 96
  • 2.2% - I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it. 11
  • 24.2% - I'm guessing 5. 123
  • 14.3% - WHAT IS THIS SOME KIND OF GAME TO YOU?! 73
509 votes

Well, how do you fare compared to the Zeitgeist? Chat up your fellow wooters and let us know how lame this poll was or what obvious choices we missed. For example: Was this poll a) STUPID, b) DUMB, c) POINTLESS or d) ALL OF THE ABOVE?

PocketBrain


quality posts: 61 Private Messages PocketBrain

"Chucking wood" is forest-animal slang for...

N/M.

Thanks to up-to-the-minute tracking, I don't track my package so much as stalk it.

luchmine1


quality posts: 0 Private Messages luchmine1

This is a weighty question and deserves some thought.
First we have to define chuck. Does chuck mean throw? If so, Richard Thomas had calculated the volume of dirt in a typical 25–30-foot (7.6–9.1 m) long woodchuck burrow and had determined that if the woodchuck had moved an equivalent volume of wood, it could move "about 700 pounds (320 kg) on a good day, with the wind at his back". Another study, which considered "chuck" to be the opposite of upchucking, determined that a woodchuck could ingest 361.9237001 cm3 (22.08593926 cu in)[9] of wood per day.
As the question is defined "if a woodchuck could chuck would" answer 1 is invalid since it states that marmots do not chuck would. The question wasn't how much would do woodchucks chuck, it was "if" the could, how much would it be. Answer 2 is probably the best answer as the initial question doesn't give us enough information to adequately answer the question and the density of the wood would help with that. Answer three is incomplete. 5 what?
Answer 4 is also not a bad answer.
I hope this was helpful for future iterations of this pole.

dschrenk


quality posts: 0 Private Messages dschrenk

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

keitht56


quality posts: 1 Private Messages keitht56

According to a Cornell publication, the answer is ~700 pounds. Compared to beavers, groundhogs/woodchucks are not adept at moving timber, although some will chew wood.

keitht56


quality posts: 1 Private Messages keitht56

A more concrete answer was published by the Associated Press in 1988, which reported that a New York fish and wildlife technician named Richard Thomas had calculated the volume of dirt in a typical 25–30-foot (7.6–9.1 m) long woodchuck burrow and had determined that if the woodchuck had moved an equivalent volume of wood, it could move "about 700 pounds (320 kg) on a good day, with the wind at his back".

moles1138


quality posts: 46 Private Messages moles1138

42

ardubu


quality posts: 9 Private Messages ardubu

North Korea wants his their Woodchucks back!

Ah, the hell with it.

originalamber


quality posts: 1 Private Messages originalamber

The real answer is a "chuckload."

vcam1


quality posts: 0 Private Messages vcam1

Alexa knows

squidward


quality posts: 2 Private Messages squidward

How much heat could a heat pump pump if a heat pump could pump heat?

Answer is always: not enough.

daveinwarshington


quality posts: 86 Private Messages daveinwarshington

The woodchucks have unionized, reduced their hours, and are now on an extended break.
There's no chucking going on right now.


roguetorino


quality posts: 1 Private Messages roguetorino

I feel a majority of the people answering the poll are ignoring the last part of the question "...if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

slothful1


quality posts: 1 Private Messages slothful1

Marmoset there'd be days like this.

mdyoung216


quality posts: 3 Private Messages mdyoung216

Have one as a pet. Don't chuck wood, but sure can chew it. Like having a hamster on steroids. LOL

mdyoung216


quality posts: 3 Private Messages mdyoung216

Watch the whole minute long video from my trail cam.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ6_WXgf1D4

TaylorSwiftsHaircut


quality posts: 33 Private Messages TaylorSwiftsHaircut

Staff

mdyoung216 wrote:Watch the whole minute long video from my trail cam.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ6_WXgf1D4



Wait- are these really your pets? Are you for real?

mdyoung216


quality posts: 3 Private Messages mdyoung216
TaylorSwiftsHaircut wrote:Wait- are these really your pets? Are you for real?



No those are different ones that live in my yard.

mdyoung216


quality posts: 3 Private Messages mdyoung216

This is from last year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piBYUmYqibM

markdame


quality posts: 0 Private Messages markdame

42, the answer to everything is 42

PocketBrain


quality posts: 61 Private Messages PocketBrain
markdame wrote:42, the answer to everything is 42



You're spelling it wrong.

Thanks to up-to-the-minute tracking, I don't track my package so much as stalk it.

AcuRiteCrystal


quality posts: 3 Private Messages AcuRiteCrystal

as much ground as a groundhog grounds if groundhog could ground ground