It's silly to think that these walls could divulge our deepest, darkest secrets. But just in case, we put these wall panels over their mouth-holes to keep them quiet.

What secrets lie in the hearts of men? If we told you that, they wouldn't be secrets now would they? But oh yes, we have secrets. Long-held secrets of an ancient brotherhood shrouded in mystery and ...

... oh who are we kidding? There is no mysterious ancient brotherhood. Not that we know of, anyway. We're just a group of guys who likes to get together once a month to talk about sports and women, and sure, sometimes politics and world domination, but mostly sports and women. And beer.

We just want everyone to think there's some big secret, because we want people to be simultaneously in awe and scared of us. And we don't want our wives to bother us when we're having man time.

That's why we decorate this secret underground chamber (Steve's basement) with these giant marble pillars (They're actually foam. We got them from the Halloween supply store.) and burgundy and gold wall hangings.

If you really look at the elaborate detailing in these wall hangings, you'll probably notice some ancient symbolism you could use as clues to uncover some long-held ancient secrets of some ancient secret society. Of course, none of it really exists. But that doesn't stop people from believing in it for some reason.

Or maybe that's just what we WANT you to think! Muahahahahahaha ...

My robe? Oh thanks. Yeah, people thing we wear these long, draping hooded black robes to disguise our identities during our ritualistic ceremonies. But mostly we just wear them so we don't have to put on pants.

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