They say you can't Bifrost and yet, we're selling frost right here!

Ho, there, stranger! Well met! Care ye for some beer? Um, I only have the one extra, so if your ravens want some... oh, good. They don't drink. Perfect, then.

I can tell from your massive beard and heavy cloak that you must come from somewhere cold, eh, stranger? Well, I hope you find this beer to your liking! I'm afraid in these warm climates we simply can't chill our beer to the correct temperature- oh, my! Is that a giant icicle? Did you conjure that from the very air around us now? Why, you truly possess the power of the Norse gods! Traveler! Are you Wotan, the father of all gods? Do you summon the winter's chill to create a spike of cold that chills beer within the very bottle that surrounds it?

Oh, you're not. You've just got a Corksicle that you carry with you, which allows you to chill beer from the inside out. Yeah, I guess that's still cool. In a way. I mean, it does make the beer taste good. And that Decapitator opener takes off the cap much better than a raven's beak.

I was just... well, I'll say it. I was sorta hoping for a story I could brag about to my friends who love the Marvel movies. No, no, it's not a big deal. Yeah, great, Boreas, nice to meet you. I mean, I'm sure you're a very nice Greek god and all. But you've never had a comic book, you know? Maybe you'd impress some British scholar but I'm an American!

And as long as we're talking about this, why do you even HAVE ravens if you aren't... oh, sure, I guess we all deserve a pet, but it's kinda misleading.

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