A nameless puppy may forgive, but he'll never forget.

"Remember it? Of course I remember it," said the adult dog formerly known as Nameless Puppy. "How could I forget? That one bath changed me forever. It got inside me. Made me the dog I am today."

"One minute I'm mindin' my own business, just gnawin' on a slipper, and the next I'm being dunked in a tub full a suds. It was traumatizin'. But what was even worse was what came next."

"Ya see, she couldn't just let me out all soapy and whatnot. She had to rinse me off. I suppose she coulda used a Dream Spa 30-Setting Slide Bar Shower, lowered it to a more desirable height and chosen one of the gentler flow patterns on the 3-zone dial, but people didn't think about the psychological effect on their pets back in those days. No. They didn't think about those things at all. They just grabbed ya by the scruff of the neck and shoved your furry little face right under the running faucet."

"I saw DOG that day. He said to me, 'Bow wow wow, wowow, bow bow wow,' which loosely translated means, 'Hang in there kid. There's a pig ear with your name on it if you can just get through this.' And so I did."

"I clenched my shampoo-burning eyes tight, blew the water out of my nose and shimmied like there was no tomorrow. I refused that pig ear when she offered it to me later. In houndsight, I only hurt myself because she never offered them to me again, and I really liked pig ears. But I was making a point. And I'm pretty sure she got the message."

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