No Sleep For The Wicked

Who's got time to rest when you're always on the run?

Millicent pushed past the movers in the doorway and strode towards Rod. "You're too late. She's already gone," he told her as he wrote "LOVE SWING ACCESSORIES" on the side of a large brown box. Then, after slapping a Fragile sticker on the top, he stepped back and motioned for her to follow him towards the spare bedroom. "There's something back here you need to see."

Millicent knew Rod well enough to know there were several very inappropriate ways to interpret what he'd said, but she chose to follow him anyway.

Much like the rest of the house, the spare bedroom was nearly empty. An Insta-Bed Queen Air Mattress lay in the room's center with only a simple sheet covering the flocked top. Next to it sat the integrated 120V AC pump still plugged into the wall and a small saucer Sylvia had obviously been using as an ashtray. The stale scent of her favorite brand of cigarettes still hung heavy in the room.

"She knew you would show up again," Rod said as Millicent began walking carefully around the oval coil and I-beam constructed air mattress. "And, for the record, it wasn't my idea to lie to you. Sylvia said she just needed some solitude for a while. She said I owed her for not telling her I was selling the house, among other things."

"And from what I know of your past relationship, you probably did." Millicent opened the closet only to find dust and a few empty wire hangers. "So you felt guilty, took her in, and then what?"

"She said I could keep a month of alimony if I went out and bought her a few things over the next couple days."

"Such as?"

"Toiletries, a fancy salad from some restaurant across town, clothes from some boutique she likes which is ALSO across town, a notebook from a specialty shop near the boutique, that sort of thing. I figure she just didn't want anyone to see her, least of all you. Which is kind of funny, actually, because for someone who didn't want you finding her, she talked about you a lot."

Millicent stopped pacing around the room, folded her arms, and furrowed her brow. Why would her sister come here of all places? Why endure the ex-husband she still sort of hated unless...

"How long were you gone?"

Rod looked at her blankly. "What?"

"When you would leave to go get her things, how long were you away?"

"I dunno. A couple hours, maybe more with traffic."

Millicent marched up to the air mattress and smiled as she admired the welding that provided an enhanced durability. "And when you came back, what was Sylvia like? Tired? Ready for a nap?"

"Well, yeah, actually. Exhausted, even. Probably from stress."

"Stress," she laughed. "Hardly. Roderick, you don't happen to be missing any tools, do you?"

Rod shook his head. "Not that I know of. Why? What are you getting at?"

Millicent bent down and pulled the air mattress from the floor, revealing both its unique underside slide-proof grips and a large gaping hole in the floor.

Rod's mouth hung open. Millicent grinned. And both noticed the small piece of paper attached to the mouth of the hole that read "448" hanging by a piece of packing tape.

Sylvia had found what she was looking for. And for some reason, she was leaving a trail.


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  • Raised height, 22" air mattress makes it feel like a "regular" bed, and makes getting in and out of bed easier
  • Unique underside design grips floor and keeps bed from sliding
  • Flocked-top gives the feeling of warmth and keeps bedding in place
  • Dual chamber airbed provides stable sleeping surface
  • Oval coil and I-beam construction for added comfort
  • Welded constrction for enhanced durability
  • Integrated 120V AC pump for easy inflation and deflation
  • Convenient carry/storage bag included
  • Repair kit included

View care and instructions here

Shipping Note: Eligible for shipping to all 50 states

Warranty:  1 Year Insta-Bed


Inflated Dimensions:  80" x 60" x 22"

In the Box:

  • (1) Insta-Bed 822547 Queen Air Mattress 

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
7m 11.888s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 16% first woot
  • 6% second woot
  • 30% < 10 woots
  • 25% < 25 woots
  • 23% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 14% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 15% one year old
  • 68% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 3% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Insta-Bed Queen Air Mattress
$79.99 Sold Out Sporting Goods
$79.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
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4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.