Life is full of frustrating interruptions. Especially the ones that keep you from dying a happy woman.
Sylvia untied the sarong from around her waist and stretched out on the beach chair under the umbrella. This trip was exactly what she needed to clear her mind and recharge her [BEEP] batteries, so to speak.
She gazed out on the ocean and watched the waves roll in. If she closed her eyes, the gentle crashing of the waves would surely lull her [BEEP] to sleep. But for now, she was just enjoying the view.
The warm breeze tickled her [BEEP] sun-kissed skin. She took a deep, cleansing breath and exhaled slowly, letting all her [BEEP] cares rush from her body. The white [BEEP] sand caressed her feet, and she wiggled her toes to bury them deeper.
Just as she was thinking that she could use a [BEEP] drink, her personal steward Javier appeared at her side. His bright blue eyes were [BEEP] striking against his olive skin and black hair. Sylvia was mesmerized by his chiseled jawline and full [BEEP] lips. He leaned in close. She could feel his warm breath on her neck as he whispered seductively into her [BEEP] ear with his non-distinct Mediterranean accent:
"Lady Sylvia, there is something that I have to say to you."
"Yes, Javier?" Her body quivered with excitement.
"Something that I have been meaning to ask you for so long."
"YES, JAVIER?"
"Something that I think we both have been wanting."
"YES! ANYTHING. JUST SAY THE WORDS, JAVIER!"
"Your [BEEP] carbon monoxide and natural gas alarm. Can you PLEASE change the battery already? It's driving me crazy!"
Sylvia awoke with a start and sat up straight in bed. She gazed blurry-eyed up at the alarm and cursed the low battery indicator. She stood up to take a closer look.
Of the three LED lights, the only one illuminated right now was the power. She pressed the test button and cringed as it beeped directly in her ear. It was still working properly. She would just need to replace the 9-volt battery soon.
She tucked herself back under the covers and tried to make the best of what time she had left before her alarm clock went off. At least she wasn't going to be dying in her sleep from gas poisoning any time soon. Though with the direction her dream had been heading, it wouldn't have been a bad way to go.
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