Chandeliers

Look up. Do you see a chandelier? If yes, then you're either in a castle or the home of a very cool person. If not, then you are probably at home, in your distinctly non-castle home, with you distinctly non-cool light fixtures. Would it kill you to class up the joint. No, don't answer that, it was rhetorical. Seriously? Jesus. No wonder you don't have a chandelier.

Ends on January 8 at 9AM CT

About Chandeliers

They dangle above you, lending your crummy abode the illusion of class. They empower your guests to overloook the debris of a life lived in ones' own filth, and the predispose prospective mates towards allowing you to paw at them despite your, shall we say, somewhat lacking approach to hygiene and courtship. Basically, you need a chandelier. Unless you're a classy, rich, beautiful master of the arts, in which case I'm sure you already have several. But one more couldn't hurt.