"Get your elbows off the table." "Slow down, this isn't a race." "Stop scraping your teeth across that fork." "That's not how you hold a knife!" "You disappoint me." Welcome to my every meal from ages 5 through 18. Now you know why I eat alone. In the bathtub. With my fingers.
Did you know that the proper English way to peel and eat a banana is with your knife and fork? You just place the banana sideways on your plate, use your fork to hold it in place and then carefully slit it open from end to end. You then use your utensils to pull back the peel, exposing the edible portion of the fruit inside, then eat and enjoy. Yeah. I know. And they wonder why we kicked their butts in the Revolutionary War.