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I saw the signs. I just ignored them, telling myself I was making too big a deal out of it. The way he started cozying up to her instead of me on the couch. But the day he didn't greet me with the usual cold nose to the crotch was the day I knew. My dog had fallen in love with my girlfriend. We fought about it. I took away his bone. He crapped on the floor. But it's cool now. We're bros again.

Ends on May 24 at 9AM CT

About Pet Products

What better way to say, "I intend to remain completely childless not because I'm barren but because no one will ever date me" than by spending all your money on things for your pets and then talking loudly and incessantly about how much "Fifi" or "Pickle" just LOVES that new pet bed you bought them even though everyone knows that Fifi and Pickle don't give two craps because they're animals and not people.