Because sometimes a little strip of tape is all you need to improve your work environment.

The hard part about working in this office is talking to allll the people who still think zombies are the height of comedy. Okay, yes, now and then, fine. Maybe we can talk about zombies over some after-work beers or when we see a headline about unstoppable viruses or something. But to just walk up and say GOOD MORNING BETTY HEY I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO DEFEND YOUR OFFICE IF ZOMBIES EVER SHOW UP is simply not at all appropriate. In fact, it’s darned annoying!

So I’ve picked up a pair of Xyron MegaRunners and I keep them at my side during the work day. This means I’ve got two half-inch-wide, acid-free permanent adhesives at the ready. All I need to do is grab one and swing. Now when somebody walks up to my door and says GOOD MORNING BETTY I WAS JUST DOING SOME MATH ABOUT THE LENGTH OF TIME IT WOULD TAKE TO PROPERLY LEAD A ZOMB I’m already in motion and can have a piece of sticky adhesive over their mouth before they can even finish that accursed Z-word. Then they wander off with little annoyed grunts and I don’t have to waste my time explaining that not everybody cares to play some make-believe survival game.

Call me abrupt and boorish if you want, but my two pack of Xyron MegaRunners can do the job. Probably they’d also work around the house or office for normal tasks too. Maybe I’ll even get to test that theory one day when my co-workers finally leave me alone. Did you know this office has five hundred people, and four hundred and seventy eight of them talk about zombies non-stop? It’s a good thing my two Xyron MegaRunners each came with a special adhesive cartridge included. Otherwise I’d never be able to deal with the endless shambling juggernaut of pain my co-workers provide me.

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