Of course, in Europe, they call it a Human Touch 0.3048 Meter & Calf Massager.
Imagine how hard it must be for the average European. All that walking and bicycle riding and yet all they can do at the end of the day is attempt to massage their tired 0.3048 Meters. And what good can that do? Nothing! Meanwhile, here in America, we can all give our American FEET and calves a comfortable massage. Pity those poor Europeans. Their 0.3048 Meters and calves will never be as well massaged as an American's feet and calves.