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After a bout of completely warranted self-loathing, the only thing that makes me feel better about myself is watching some of God's most precious avian creatures breaking breadcrumbs (get it?!) with one another in my backyard. And … I just did it again. UGH!!!
You know how when you're in trouble and your wife says to you, "Ooooh, Buddy. You are totally in the doghouse now." Why is it doghouse? Why not birdhouse? Think about it. Depending on the size of your dog, that house might actually be semi-comfortable, and you wouldn't have to listen to her incessant snoring all night long. But birdhouses, man. Those things are TINY. Plus, they're outside where it's cold. Yeah. From now on, I'm totally saying "You're in the birdhouse." It'll catch on. Just wait.