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An office desk isn't just something your boss actually has to buy you. It's also something you can buy yourself! In fact, if you buy enough of them, you can build a house out of office furniture! Imagine how much you'd save on taxes THEN! Also, we won't visit you in prison, let's make that clear from the start.
Even the lowest employee on the totem pole can still feel like a CEO at home. Get some nice office furniture and tell your cat to have the report on your desk by noon. Then, when he misses the deadline, ask him to sit down and have a talk about his future! That's the power a nice desk creates in your life.