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Stop it. Seriously. You've been eating out for the last seventy-three meals. You're crawling into a pit of irreversible debt. There's a solution, and it's not even a difficult one. To save your life, all you have to do is start eating at home. I know well of your overpowering aversion to take-out containers, but I'm here to help. Eat off of these, and all your troubles will be solved.
It's either this or licking your food of the carpet and slurping your booze out of the bottle. Far be it for Woot to tell you how to roll, and if that's your thing then more power to you, but here's a tip: the licking and the slurping can make it a little tricky to attract a mate.