Solid As A Rock(er)

Are you sitting down? You may want to sit down for this one.

Nameless Puppy snuffled slightly, adjusted himself in Man Person's lap so that he might get better belly petties, then relaxed himself. 'Rub me', he thought. 'I require the rubbin's.'

But Man Person did not rub as he was mentally commanded. Instead, he seemed to be far too interested in Weird Lady to care. "What," he heard Man Person ask her as he stopped rocking the Misson Rocker, "the hell are you talking about?"

Nameless Puppy picked his head up, looked at his exposed stomach, and was confused. Why wasn't Man Person making with the petties? Could he not see that Puppy was primed and ready for them? Was this not why Man Person sat in the comfortable leatherette upholstered seat? He looked over at Weird Lady standing over near his food dish. 'Help me out here, huh?'

She did not. Instead, she stretched a weak smile across her face and said, "It's, you know, just a question. Just something I've been thinking about."

"You've just been randomly thinking about whether or not a woman can get pregnant if she sleeps with a robot?" said Man Person, STILL not running his gentle hand against Nameless Puppy's fur.

"Cyborg," Weird Lady said. "Or Android. Whichever one looks like a human. Like the Terminator, or Michael Fassbender in the stupid movie you dragged me to."

Nameless Puppy sighed. If Man Person wasn't going to pet him, he thought, maybe Weird Lady would feed him. He righted himself and jumped down, leaving Man Person to sit against the high back of the rocker and continue to be useless. "Where did that question even come from?" Man Person said without a single "good boy" or "that's a good puppy" thrown in.

"GEEZ, BRANT, IT'S JUST A QUESTION," Weird Lady shreiked, sending Nameless Puppy straight back to the rocker to hide under its assemble Asian hardwoods. "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO PARANOID ABOUT A STUPID..."

"Okay, okay," Man Person said, leaning over to pick Nameless Puppy up into his lap again. "No, a woman can't get pregnant if she sleeps with a robot or cyborg or whatever unless it's some kind of insemination robot. As far as I know, anyway." 

"That's all I wanted to know. THANK YOU," barked Weird Lady before stomping away into the bedroom.

Man Person looked down at Nameless Puppy. "Sorry about that, buddy. Now where were we?" He reached down and started to stritch Nameless Puppy behind the ears. Oh. Oh yeah. That felt nice.

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  • Classic Mission Style Rocking Chair will be a treasured complement to your home, or nursery
  • Comfortable leatherette upholstered seat in a rich chocolate brown color
  • Back of rocker from seat measures 32" high, to comfortably support all heights
  • Assembly required
  • Crafted from solid 100% Asian hardwoods

Special Information: Due to the size of this item, it can not be delivered to MILITARY addresses.

Shipping Note: Shipping to Alaska and Hawaii is not available for this item

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty


Seat W 22.5" x D19.5" x H 19" (from floor)
Product L 32.8" x W 27" x H 46.75"
Shipping Weight 60 lbs.

In the Box:

  • (1) Carolina Chair 4727-NC Mission Style Rocking Chair

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
3m 30.660s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 11% first woot
  • 6% second woot
  • 20% < 10 woots
  • 32% < 25 woots
  • 31% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 10% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 0% one month old
  • 20% one year old
  • 70% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 79% bought 1
  • 17% bought 2
  • 4% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Carolina Cottage Mission Rocker
$179.99 Sold Out Home & Garden
$179.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3
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4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.