Territorial

You can get between a man and his woman all you want. But woe betide the one who gets between a man and his commission

Ernie stood on the stoop of the home he once shared with Marjorie, double bouquet of red roses in hand. He had a lot of explaining to do. And groveling. It was going to take a lot of groveling. But he was confident he could win her back.

He dusted off the shoulders of his jacket, adjusted his bow tie and opened the door. "Marjorie, my darling. I'm home. Your Ernie has returned to …"

But he stopped dead in his tracks when he turned the corner to the kitchen. Standing in the doorway was a Dyson DC33. And sitting at the breakfast table with his wife was a gray-haired man in boxers, white undershirt, suspenders and black socks pulled up to his knees.

Ernie stood silently blinking at the pair who barely looked up from their toast and espresso to acknowledge his presence.

"Marjorie. Just what the Hell is going on here?" he said finally.

"Oh! Hi, Ernie," Marjorie said as if she had just noticed him. "Breakfast. Breakfast is what's going on here. Would you like a slice of bacon?"

"No I would NOT like a slice of bacon, Marjorie! Would you mind explaining to me who THAT is?"

"Of course. How rude of me not to introduce you. This is Stan. Stan is a vacuum salesman, too. Isn't that funny?!"

Stan folded his paper and set it on the table as he stood up. He nodded politely as he shuffled past Ernie and started packing up the DC33 into his case.

"You have any luck selling these here Dysons?" said Stan to Ernie, who just stared back at the man in his underpants.

But Stan continued unperturbed. "This one's a real doozy. It's got a telescoping reach wand and a Lifetime HEPA filter. Oh, and something called Root Cyclone tech …"

"I KNOW WHAT ROOT CYCLONE TECHNOLOGY IS!" erupted Ernie.

"Yeah, so anyway," said Stan. "Not having much luck with them. But Lovely here tipped me off to this goldmine of a building in the city that …"

Ernie turned on Marjorie like a rabid dog. "YOU DIDN'T! MY building. You told him about MY building?"

Majorie just smiled and took another sip of her espresso.

Ernie threw the roses on the floor and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

"The only way a guy like that is going to get the best of me is over MY DEAD BODY!" Ernie said aloud as he turned the ignition in the car and sped away toward the city.

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Features

  • Root Cyclone technology: All Dyson vacuums have patented cyclone technology; captures more dirt and microscopic dust than other cyclones
  • Telescope reach wand: Extends 15.7ft, with no awkward parts to assemble
  • Hygienic bin emptying: To minimize risk of contact with dirt
  • Lifetime HEPA filter: Traps microscopic pollen and allergens; ideal for allergy sufferers
  • Lightweight and easy to carry: Just 17.6 lbs with no compromise in durability

Shipping Note: Shipping to Alaska and Hawaii is not available for this item
Special Information: Due to the size of this item, it can not be delivered to MILITARY addresses
 

Warranty: 6 Month Dyson

Specs

Suction power: 240 Air Watts (constant)
Movement type: Fixed wheel
Filter: Lifetime HEPA filter
Brushbar control type: Control on cleaner head
Cleaner head / Floor tool: Clutch controlled brushbar
Stair cleaning: Telescope reach™ wand
Bin capacity: 0.61 gal (Clear bin)
Tools / accessories: Combination accessory tool
Stair tool
Dimensions: 44.9”H x 13.4”D x 14.0”W
Weight: 17.6 lbs
Max. reach: 51.1 ft
Cord length: 35 ft

 

In the box:

(1) Dyson DC33 19625-03 Multi Floor Vacuum includes:

  • Combination Accessory Tool
  • Stair tool
  • Operating Manual
  • Quick Start Guide
  • Product Registration Card

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
9m 41.008s
First Sucker:
birchb05
Last Wooter to Woot:
bestwok

Purchaser Experience

  • 37% first woot
  • 11% second woot
  • 28% < 10 woots
  • 14% < 25 woots
  • 10% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 30% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 19% one year old
  • 49% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 99% bought 1
  • 1% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

2%
1%
1%
1%
1%
2%
5%
8%
8%
10%
9%
5%
9%
5%
5%
4%
2%
4%
3%
4%
3%
4%
3%
3%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Dyson DC33 Multi Floor Vacuum
$199.99 Sold Out Home & Garden
$199.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3
Woot! Home.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.