WHICH KITCHENAID HEAVY DUTY MIXER COLOR WILL REIGN SUPREME? 

RED MIXER: I AM THE COLOR OF COURAGE AND SACRIFICE. AND ALSO LOVE. AND BLOOD. I WILL COURAGEOUSLY MIX YOUR INGREDIENTS WITH BLOOD. No wait, that's not what I—

BLACK MIXER: I AM THE COLOR OF POWER AND AUTHORITY. AND DARKNESS. I WILL RULE OVER YOUR KITCHEN AND COVER YOUR HOUSE IN DARKNESS. IT'S OK, EVIL IS COOL.

SILVER MIXER: I am the color of shiny.

RED MIXER: I WILL—wait, that's it? Shiny?

SILVER MIXER: Well......yeah.

BLACK MIXER: So hang on, if a bear attacks you in the woods, you would defend yourself by being shiny?

SILVER MIXER: Why would I be in the woods?

RED MIXER: I don't think any of us could defend ourselves against a bear.

BLACK MIXER: I could.

RED MIXER: How?

BLACK MIXER: I'd mix its face.

RED MIXER: Forget the bear. Surely there must be something about being silver.

SILVER MIXER: I guess clouds have a silver lining.

BLACK MIXER: Ok good.

SILVER MIXER: Uh, silver is associated with 2nd place.

BLACK MIXER: This is sad.

RED MIXER: Hey, silver is a valuable metal, right?

SILVER MIXER: I guess so.

RED MIXER: Hey, why don't we all reign supreme?

BLACK MIXER: Fine with me.

RED MIXER: Ok. In that case, WE ARE ALL COLORS OF IMPORTANCE, AND WE SHALL MIX YOUR INGREDIENTS. UP TO FIVE QUARTS WORTH OF MIGHTY INGREDIENTS. AND TOGETHER, WE REIGN SUPREME.

BLACK MIXER: SUPREME.

SILVER MIXER: And I'll be in 2nd place.

RED MIXER: C'mon we talked about this.

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