Cutlery works in harmony with whatever food lies before it. Too bad that doesn't work with everything in life.
 

They say good writers don't use adverbs. Does that mean good eaters shouldn't use forks?

Be honest, you powerhouses of wordery: you don't use adverbs because you're scared. You're chicken. You look at "ultimately" and "meanwhile" and a bolt of terror shoots through you like a young man standing before a table upon which are three different salad forks. Which do I use first? How do I manage? That's the sort of fear one might have while looking at the Oneida Flatware set. It's fair, of course... but one must face ones fears eventually.

So here's what WE recommend. First, buy this Oneida Flatware and place it vaguely near your place setting. Maybe rest the fork shyly under the edge of the plate, or the spoon rudely covering the blade of the knife. Then, imagine what it would be like if you were seated sheepishly across from the Queen Of England at a fancy state supper, and you felt thoroughly terrified about the rules and manners that quality cutlery demands. Once you've got that emotion in your head, imagine the Queen leaning in silently towards you, smiling openly, selflessly whispering the words your heart has been longing to hear... I'd honestly kill a Corgi to get my hands down a bag of tacos right now.

See? Good story, chock full of adverbs. So don't be afraid of words, people! They work for you! Just like the forks and spoons and knives in this Oneida Flatware set will move food from your plate to your mouth.

Tools are tools. Don't blame them for what you can or can't do. Sheesh.

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