Tonight on "Cryptozoologist Weekly" we ask the toughest question: would Bigfoot be comfortable on a Softex Gel-filled Pillow?

The Bermuda Triangle. The Loch Ness Monster. President Bill Clinton. All these mythical monsters have terrified humanity at one time or another. But tonight we take a long hard look at the only American beast known to be real: the Pecos Bill of the Pacific Northwest, Bigfoot! And we try to answer the question: would Bigfoot sleep well on a Softex Gel-filled Pillow?

As we know, the Softex Gel-filled pillow gently shapes itself to the sleeper's head, giving a gentle and restful experience much like dozing on the tummy of a mermaid. But, as we also know, a Bigfoot's skull is wider and denser than a normal foot's skull, and as such, the support locations would fall differently.

Nevertheless, science has determined that any Softex Gel-filled pillows would be more than capable of supporting a Bigfoot through a gentle and restful night. So worry not, campers! You and your sasquatch buddies will be able to share pillows with ease.

Be warned, however: the Softex Gel-filled pillows are NOT designed for use by skunk apes or wendigo.

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