So what if a lady wants a little more excitement from her flatware. It's none of your business.

Danielle ducked into Ruttles on her way home from work. One of her friends was getting married, and she needed a wedding gift. She printed off the registry at the front of the store and headed for the flatware aisle. Just as she turned the corner, she noticed Craig standing there. She tried to turn around before he saw her, but it was too late.

"Danielle! Hey!" said Craig a little too enthusiastically. He must have realized it, because his next sentence was considerably more subdued. "So … how are you?"

"I'm fine, Craig," she said curtly without meeting his gaze. She just wanted to find the Wallace 45-Piece Flatware Set as fast as possible so she could get out of there.

"Flatware, huh? What kind you thinking of getting?" he asked.

"It's for a friend. She wants the Wallace," she said.

"Well there it is. 18/10 stainless steel. Dishwasher safe. Nice."

"Yep," said Danielle as she matched up the SKU on the shelf with the one of the registry.

"Looks like it also comes with a tablespoon, sugar spoon, butter serving knife and a pierced tablespoon. Oooh! And a cold meat fork. Wonder if you can use it on hot meat, too?" Craig cringed at that last sentence. He didn't mean it to, but it came across a little creepy.

"I'm sure it's fine," said Danielle, rolling her eyes and grabbing the Continental Hammered set from the shelf.

"Oh, actually," Craig said, grabbing the flatware out of Danielle's hands and handing her the Continental Classic instead. "I'm sure she actually wanted this one."

"Why would you assume that?" said Danielle, finally turning to face him.

"Polished finished? Classic. Dependable. It'll still be around years from now."

"Not everyone likes things so … perfect," Danielle said while eying Craig up and down.

Craig pretended not to notice. "Well, surely she doesn't want THAT set. They're all dinged up."

"And what's wrong with a little imperfection, Craig?"

"I guess nothing …" he said. Danielle looked triumphant. "But she's totally gonna be sick of them in a year or so."

She frowned. "You don't know that, Craig. You don't know anything about her! Maybe she doesn't like things that are so … BORING!"

"Well then by all means, get her the Hammered set. Because if there's anyone who knows about IGNORANT JERKS WHO TREAT YOU BAD, it's you!"

Danielle slapped Craig across the face so hard it left a red handprint.

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