We hired a scientist and a professional spelunker to explore the deep pockets of the Pima sheets. What they found might surprise me.

We're here today with scientist Sallywell Dorfmordor...

SALLYWELL: Hello.

...and avid spelunker Shontina Mathbracket...

SHONTINA: We prefer to be called cavers.

...to find out how deep the pockets on the Pima Cotton Deep Pocket Sheets go. 

SALLYWELL: Wait, I thought I was here to talk about string theory.

Not anymore. Hold this walkie-talkie and talk to Shontina as she descends.

SHONTINA: Wheeeee!

[SHONTINA disappears into the sheet pocket. Several minutes pass. SALLYWELL turns on the walkie-talkie.]

SHONTINA: ...eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

SALLYWELL: What do you see?

SHONTINA: A lot of soft fibers. A few bats. A dragon.

SALLYWELL: What, really?

SHONTINA: Nah, I was kidding about the bats. Dragon, though.

SALLYWELL: Anything in there that might have some relation to string theory-

SHONTINA: Hang on, Doc Dorf. I see something up ahead.

SALLYWELL: Is it moving?

SHONTINA: No, it's shiny and...ok, it's a spinning diamond.

SALLYWELL: A spinning-

SHONTINA: It's just hovering in the air and spinning. 

SALLYWELL: ...diamond.

SHONTINA: Correct, a spinning diamond. 

SALLYWELL: I'm sure there's a perfectly rational-

SHONTINA: The diamond just spoke to me.

SALLYWELL: Repeat, Shontina, did you just say-

SHONTINA: It wants to know if 'Sons of Anarchy' is a good TV show.

SALLYWELL: ...

SHONTINA: I've never seen it, can anyone up there comment?

SALLYWELL: ...no.

SHONTINA: Ok, I'm coming back up.

And there you have it!

SALLYWELL: Have what?

...

SALLYWELL: ...

...good night everybody!

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