You’ve already got an outdoor thermometer. It’s your SKIN.

Be honest. You’re not buying this Acu-Rite Digital Thermometer with How-to-Dress Character because of the thermometer. Who doesn’t have a phone with a weather app on it these days? Who lives in a house without WINDOWS? You already know how to tell the temperature. You walk outside and see if how it feels. That’s it.

No, you want this thing for the little digital dude wearing shorts and a t-shirt. And you don’t even really want him to help you figure things out. Like we said, you’ve got your own skin. No, you want to show this guy off to all your friends. “Look,” you’ll say, “this is how I know what to wear today. This guy shows me exactly.” And they’ll laugh and say how silly it is to have such a thing, how you’re such a tech geek and maybe hint that you’re a little frivolous with your money, and that’s what you’re really after.

The impression among your friends that you’re a person with influence, a person with wealth. You can afford a silly digital man wearing digital clothes. You’ve made it. And that’s what this silly thing is all about: showing all those doubting fools that you’ve finally made it.

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