Perfect for impressing your penguins.

I know everyone loves penguins. They're adorable, they look like they're wearing tiny tuxedos, and not being able to fly makes them the lovable losers of the bird world. But I really, really love penguins. Like, really.

So I got a penguin. It's not a big deal. I wanted a penguin so I got one. It's not something you need to go telling everyone about. It's not something you need to mention to to the US Fish and Wildlife service or to your local animal control or anything.

And now I'm currently in the process of turning my studio apartment into a snowy winter wonderland, suitable for a tiny, adorable penguin. All I need is a few air conditioners and one of those red and white striped pole markers. And the way I'll tie it all together is with a cool ice cream maker. It gives me some delicious dessert, and to the penguin, it looks like I'm a god of ice and snow! That means it will obey me, and that means it'll be perfectly safe.

So don't you worry about me or what my landlord thinks. I totally, totally got my landlord's permission so there's no need to check with her about any of this. All you need to know is that soon my ice cream maker will arrive and then my penguin and I are going to be perfectly happy together.

Oh, and if you know any place that sells bags of ice by the ton, that'll really help me out a bunch.

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