Ice cream. The only still-viable way to combat the global financial epidemic.

Imagine in a future after the fiat desserts have fallen by the wayside. A dark future where savages run about screaming I DIDN'T KNOW! SAVE ME! SAVE ME FROM MY POOR DECISIONS! And imagine you rise up, holding your Cuisinart Mix It In Soft Serve Ice Cream Maker... and whisper, "No."

Think of it: you're there with a refrigerated safe made from reinforced cookie wafers scooping out the cool, sweet dairy goodness into the cones like change into a roll. Accountants and stockbrokers have become your icemen, rushing to the stock market with tubs of freshly made ice cream to prevent any crashes. Why, after the first year, the old bank presidents would be coming to you for advice, and everyone would be so much happier knowing that, if times get tight, they could just eat their fortune. Because who DOESN'T love ice cream, eh? Eh?

So, do your part. Get an ice cream maker and learn the craft. Next year at this time, you could be sitting on literally tons of ice cream, which you can use to pay for a house, which will inspire a movement, which will lead to a global revolution, which will change our very culture to a brilliant ice cream based economy in which YOU will hold the method of production! You'll be a king, nay, a GOD!

And if it doesn't work out you can always go back to a less sensible currency. You know, like bitcoin.

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