Woe to anyone caught unawares when an IRS hit squad demands an on-the-spot audit.

It happened to me. But I was one of the lucky ones. I’d had the foresight to keep my financial and tax records for the last five years with me at all times.

When the accountants seized me on the street and threw me into that van, all I had to say was “Look in my dBest Quik-Cart-Xtra. I believe you’ll find everything’s in order.” Then we had to go back to where they picked me up and get the dBest Quik-Cart-Xtra. What with all the seizing and resisting and flailing and screaming, it had toppled over onto the sidewalk.

But thanks to the durable lid, every form, every waiver, every receipt was right where I’d filed it. The IRS knew they had no choice but to let me wheel my papers off into the night. The dBest Quik-Cart-Xtra folds down to a really tiny size when it’s empty, but for me it’s never empty. Rolling my tax records in my wake everywhere I go has saved my life at least once. I’m not about to stop now.

Well, there was that time I accidentally left my dBest Quik-Cart-Xtra on the bus, full of my tax returns, Social Security numbers, all of it. That kind of sucked.

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