The Starship Majesty glides silently through the void.

Another light cycle, another 7.5 trillion monetary credits added to my personal account. Life on a star ship ain’t exactly as glamorous as I planned; ‘course I never planned on being the janitor. No, I was gonna be a fighter pilot escorting some huge, bloated battleship or maybe a weapons officer barking out firing coordinates. Stupid universal aptitude evaluation ruined everything.

But the joke’s on them. While they’re all in cryo for the next 45 years I get to wake up periodically and clean up. Not much to clean up since no one’s using the ship, and that means easy money. Even the robots go into hibernation to save their fusion core life. Just me and my refurbished Euro Pro Steam Pocket Mop.

Odd, though, that in the 700+ years since its invention, that mop technology hasn’t advanced beyond the Euro Pro Steam Pocket Mop. I mean, it’s nice, with a super-heated, chemical-free steam moistening the micro-fiber pad to clean and sanitize simultaneously. It’s ready to use in 30 seconds and safe on all surfaces. It’s a fine mop, sure.

I just would’ve thought that we could’ve come up with a robot or something to do this. Maybe I could invent that. Oh, sure, Bax. Invent yourself out of a steady job. GREAT idea. No wonder you weren’t cut out to be a star captain.

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