Burlap just screams “comfort!”

Ricky, I got bad news. You know the stool that Big Archie Dalston wanted re-upholstered?

“The Galt 19-inch Stool, what about it?”

Well, I talked to our guy and the leather won’t get here until tomorrow.

“What? But Big Archie’s coming for his stool today!”

I know, I know! We gotta call him up and tell him he’ll have to wait until tomorrow.

“No way! Big Archie hates delays. I heard his barber couldn’t fit him in one day. Well guess what? That barber was never seen alive again. Word on the street is, Big Archie had him turned into a sandwich. And not the meat part. The bread.”

Oh gosh, that’s not only cruel and unusual; it’s embarrassing!

“Exactly. So we can’t make him wait. No, we’ll have to upholster it with something else. Like this burlap over here.”

Burlap? Who’d wanna sit on burlap?

“Well, big Archie might, if we really sell it to him!”

I don’t understand…

“Okay, what I mean is we don’t say, ‘we ran out of leather, so we had use this rough, itchy material.’ Instead, we pretend that we decided to use burlap because it’s ‘durable’ and ‘rustic-looking’ and goes well with the antiqued wood legs or something. And we’ll make it look real nice too, with some upholstery braid and bronze nailheads and stuff.”

Okay, Ricky. You’re the boss. But, for the record, I think this is crazy.

“You’re right. It is. But it’s worth a shot to avoid getting breaded.”

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