It's 2014. Isn't it time you get your life straight? No? Well, at least straighten up your hair.

Some people say the need hair straighteners, but not me. I have a wide and vast collection of horror movies that do the exact same thing.

Now, to be fair, it can be difficult to achieve the same effects over and over once I know what's coming. Like, when I watch In-Your-Face-Zombie V (1983) I already know when the zombie's going to leap out into my face, and so it doesn't really allow me the instant results of, say, a gold series professional 1" styler. But, at the same time, a pair of sparkling black plates won't get the same results as the day I first saw The Man Behind Your Couch Right Now (2012). Boy, oh, boy! Did that one straighten my hair out good!

That having been said, if movies keep staying as boring as The Wussy Wussy Vampire (2008) or Night Of The Ironic & Postmodern Monster League (2012)  then I might just have to get one of these hair straightening things myself. Isn't ANYONE still making good horror movies these days?

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