No one escapes the wrath of Woburn Hill.

“Don’t do it, Man. It’s not worth it. No one will judge you if you back out now.”

Oh come on, it’s not THAT scary.

“Dude, the angle of that hill is like 85 degrees. There’s no way you’re making it down in one piece.”

Kids do it all the time. Jeff made it down last week.

“Yeah, on his face. Picked up so much speed, his Huffy just disintegrated. Threw him off 20 feet from the bottom and he skidded the rest of the way down.”

Ouch.

“Oh you don’t even know pain. His grandma tried cleaning him up, only she mixed up the Ben Gay and the Neosporin.”

No!

“Yeah. Haven’t seen him since. Sometimes though, at night, I can still hear him screaming … So ANYWAY. I have two Johnson & Johnson first-aid kits with me right now.”

Why two?

“Because I’m telling you, Man, if you do this, you’re gonna need every last Band-Aid, gauze pad and cleansing wipe in here.”

Whatever. I got this. Count it off.

“Ok. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, though. 3 – 2 – 1 – GO. YOU’RE LOOKIN’ PRETTY GOOD. STEADY … STEADY!!! WHOA, WATCH OUT FOR THAT CAT! WHEW, THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE. YOU’RE IN THE HOME STRETCH NOW JUST … NO. DON’T BE A HERO, MAN. DON’T JUMP THE RAMP! NO NO NO! GAHHHHH!”

MY LEG!!!

“Dude, your leg isn’t even the half of it. You have gravel embedded in your elbow. Here, let me use these tweezers to pick some of it out.”

Just leave me. I don’t want anyone to see me go out like this.

“Oh please. You’re not dying. But GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! Look at your pinky! I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to bend that way. Good thing I’ve got this finger splint in the first-aid kid. I should probably reset it first, though. Ready?

No. No way.

“Shhh. It’s gonna be fine. I’ll count it off … 3 – 2 – 1 – ”

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