At last, you can play the spoons in style.

That’s the tricky part about being a spoon man. You don’t want to seem ostentatious, but you don’t want to be up there with throw-away picnic utensils either. You’ve got to have that balance between “cutting edge style” (so people know you’re a professional) and “just picked it up off the table” (so people remember you’re better than they are) if you want to be taken seriously. So regarding the Joseph Joseph Elevate 6-Piece Utensil Set… well, we don’t know. Because we don’t play the spoons.

But we have pretended that we play the spoons, and that’s why we’re sure the Joseph Joseph Elevate 6-Piece Utensil Set is perfect for lying to people about your musical pedigree! Whack that Slotted Spoon against the Solid Spoon and talk about how the design offers “reverb” or “distortion” or whatever. Show off the ladle (Did John Bonham have one just like it? Probably the person you’re talking too won’t know either!) and mention that the Spaghetti Server is what you use when you’re looking to get “psychedelic” with your sound. You don’t actually have to play, of course, because you can throw down some standard “the acoustics in here just wouldn’t support my style of play” and weasel out of it. Just like famous people do when a club owner asks them to jam with the house band for free. People will get the hint. A musician’s supposed to be distant and moody anyway.

Naturally you’ll be mostly using the Joseph Joseph Elevate 6-Piece Utensil Set for cooking and stirring (they’re heat resistant to 480°F and work with non-stick cookware and bakeware) but why admit that to your potentially-adoring crowd? To them, you’ll be a pioneer of dubstep spoonery, mixing traditional blues styles with flashy modern-day sensibilities. An ar-teest.

Showing off the Joseph Joseph Elevate 6-Piece Utensil Set means you get the praise, and they don’t have to waste time listening to some idiot bang spoons together. Isn’t that the best of both worlds… for everyone?

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