I wish someone would tell salad what this Kuhn is doing behind its back.

According to the features, this Kuhn Rikon Vase Whisk is “the perfect companion to any salad,” but we’re not so sure. After all, this thing uses its stainless steel whisking ball to make salad dressing, and salad dressing makes people want to EAT SALAD! That’s how it provides companionship? By hastening salad’s death?

No, if you ask us, this Kuhn Rikon Vase Whisk is more like salad’s weird manipulative frenemy than its companion. You know, like the one everyone had in high school: that person who pretended to be your best pal while sabotaging your social life, by telling you stuff like “tie-died shirts are definitely still awesome,” or “all the cool kids are rocking the inverted mohawk look,” or “if you want to show up to school in style, you’d ride a banana seat bike.”

Of course, this is all hypothetical and not at all autobiographical. Because we are certainly NOT still bitter about stuff from high school…

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