This one goes out to all the old-time Woot fans from back in the day. You newcomers can just buy one and pretend you were here at the beginning.

Well, here's the big one. Here's the way to tell if you're an old Woot fan or a new Woot fan. Just take a look at these happy, croaking techphibians and reach into your heart. Not literally, of course, as that would kill you. Reach in with your mind. And then, on a scale of one to one thousand, rate your feelings. How does it feel, seeing these leakfrogs again? Write down that number, and then consult the following chart to see where you stand in the hierarchy of Wooters:

MY LEVEL OF EMOTION AT SEEING LEAKFROGS

0 - 50: NEWB You've likely just arrived at this site. Welcome! We hope you stick around.

51 - 103: CASUAL VISITOR Hey, did you know we've got a blog full of somewhat funny stuff? Come on over and visit!

104 - 397: PASSINGLY FANCIFUL Woot's that site you only visit via Facebook, right? Hey, whatever. It's good to see you, even though it's only now and again.

398 - 402: WOOT DILETTANTE Dabbler, eh? Well, maybe it's time you consider making a commitment in your life. You're not getting any younger, you know.

403 - 617: FROG LOVER Yes these Leakfrogs do indeed croak when exposed to water. And you'll get two of them! Isn't that exactly what you want for your frog collection?

618 - 700: HOME OWNER A Leakfrog under the sink or in the basement can help you know right away if you've got a leak. That could save you money. Real money. Real "Oh No There's Mildew In The Baseboards How Could This Happen" kind of money. Our advice? Buy three.

701 - 703: RED HOT LEAKFROG LOVER This rating? Whooo! Someone's like James Bond, Diana Rigg, Batgirl and Shaft all rolled into one! Can we get your number, hot stuff? No? Too good for us? Well, that's only to be expected. Your heart is saved for someone green, plastic and croaky.

704 - 799: AVANT-GARDE MUSICIAN Picture it! A Leakfrog chorus! Wouldn't John Cage be proud of you? It's time to work on getting some of that sweet sweet grant money.

800: ROUNDING ERROR Studies have shown that no one ever gets exactly 800 on the Leakfrog Emotion Scale, therefore you have reached this answer in error. Please reconsider your emotions and consult the table again.

801 - 870: OUR MOMS AND DADS You guys. Always so supportive.

871 - 900: LEAKFROG FANATIC You better buy 'em fast, because once they're gone, who knows when they'll be back? Maybe NEVER!!!!!! And then, what would you do? You'd be alone... adrifit... frogless... in tears...

901 - 999: WOOT OBSESSIVE Listen, we're glad you're here but ... maybe consider spending some of that money on food or rent? It can't just be about giving us your money all the time. It just can't! LIVE YOUR LIFE TOO, YOU POOR AND GENTLE SOUL!!!!

1000: OVERLY EMOTIONAL You might seriously want to consider getting some therapy if you're getting this worked up about one of our sales. Leakfrogs are cool but, c'mon, 1000 of 1000? That's like redlining your soul. That's just not at all normal. Not. At. All.

1001: BIG OL' LIAR What is this, Spinal Tap? The scale doesn't go this high, jerkface. Try again, only this time, be truthful about your feelings.

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