We’re having so much fun being lazy reading these old write-ups that we’ve decided to share them with you through the end of our 10th birthday month! Check out this refurb- uh, classic.

Now everyone who buys a camera always has a little moment when they see themselves up on a stage, shaking the hand of the head of National Geographic, just about to walk to the microphone and accept the Pulitzer. The reality is that what almost all of you will be doing is pulling it out of your bag at the last possible second to see your friend Walter pour the hot sauce in his eye to get out of paying for the next round of drinks at the bachelor party. But you know what? In this digital age, that gives nearly as much to the universe as a Man Ray or a Robert Mapplethorpe ever did.

The Samsung Digimax L85 presents a 5x optical zoom, an 8x digital zoom, and photo resolutions up to 8.1 megapixels. In layperson’s terms, this means you can zoom in to get the look on Walter’s face when he finds out the water he grabbed is actually straight vodka, and that the sheer terror in his tortured, bloodshot eyes as he finds there is a line at the bathroom will come out as clear as a print of one of Anne Geddes’ creepy cabbage children. The Digimax also includes a Manual Mode, for when you just can’t figure out the proper light to use to fully accentuate Walter vomiting into a corner mailbox, a Wide Mode, for when Walter drops his pants and tries to run across an entire cornfield to get enough lift to prove he can actually fly with the power of his mind, and the very exciting Motion Capture Mode, allowing you to take up to 30 high resolution pictures in one shooting, which means a frame by frame examination of just how Walter got his head stuck in the big glass bottle you used to keep pennies in.

The Samsung Digimax L85 also creates MPEG-4 movies, supports HDTV, and is the first digital camera to use the High Definition Multimedia Interface function (through the camera dock, not included), meaning that when Walter tries to act like everyone is exaggerating you can just plug into the HDTV and laugh as he tries to hide under the couch cushions. But most importantly, once you are “the dude with the camera” no one else will bring one, and you can be safe in the knowledge that your face will never show up next to the ORLY owl in a photoshop on the blog of your employer’s son. Quality and security, like a hermit crab with a Ferrari shell.

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