Let’s pretend for a moment that we live in a world where people actually care about what your flatware looks like.

It is a magical world, this place. The amount of money you have in your accounts does not measure wealth here. Your job does not define you. The style of clothing you wear is not indicative of “how you roll,” as the kids say. In this wondrous land, the sun always shines, the birds always sing your favorite song, and neither your race nor ideology matter to your fellow man. No, the only thing of any real importance here is shape, style, and make-up of the flatware you own.

Oh, to have an Oneida Du Parc 18/10 65-Piece Flatware Service Set in this incredible wonderland! Just think of the joy and pride you would feel flying away from your job upon your winged horse, ducking and dodging clouds made of candy-coated laughter as you think about the squared handles that unite both matte and polished finishes. With a sophisticated, contemporary look, your twelve-person dinner parties hold more sway than any political party ever could. You’d owe everything you are to that 18/10 Stainless Steel set of eating utensils, from the salad forks right down to the sugar spoon. Perhaps your elated heart would darken just slightly as your thoughts drift to those less fortunate souls who must scrape away the leftovers of shame with whatever hand-me-down forks and knives they’ve picked up throughout their pitiful lives. It’s unlikely, but possible.

Alas, such a world does not exist, I’m afraid. Instead, we must dwell in this awful dystopia we’ve created for ourselves where no one really cares about bead-blasted satin finishes and dishwasher safety. But maybe, just maybe, if we all purchase this Oneida Du Parc 18/10 65-Piece Flatware Service Set, we can take a tiny step towards making that dream a reality.

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