The non-marring bumper guards will protect your furniture, but not your friendship.

"Dude. Are you totally brain dead?" asked Craig.

"What?" answered Jimmy. "She has always maintained that the reason she wouldn't go out with me was because we worked together. So I figured, ya know, since we don't work together any more-"

"You didn't even let her storm out before you asked her, Man! You have to let girls storm out. Otherwise, you're going nowhere fast," said Craig.

"Oh like you're some expert now? How'd that game plan work out for ya, Bud?" Jimmy chided.

"I told you SHE threw ME out. Not the same scenario," said Craig.

"Whatever you say, Man. Oh crap! There she is!"

Craig instinctively turned around to see who Jimmy was talking about.

"Don't look at her, Dude! She'll know we were talking about her! Quick! Pretend I'm telling you about this Oreck vacuum."

Craig didn't have time to respond before Jimmy started talking really loudly and gesturing towards a vacuum.

"UM, so YEAH … this is a REALLY great vacuum. It really SUCKS. But, like, in a good way."

"Um … is it … heavy … I guess?" Craig asked.

"Heavy? No, Man. It's like, super lightweight. Only 9 pounds."

"Cool. Cool," said Craig.

Jimmy gave him an expectant look and gestured with his head at the vacuum.

"Oh … uh," said Craig obviously struggling to come up with another question. "Is it, like, fast?"

"Sure is! The Powerful Direct Suction design provides airflow up to 102 MPH," said Jimmy.

"Sweet," said Craig. "Now what about the …"

"Oh HEY Lisa! What are you doing here?" Jimmy interrupted.

"I'm just here to get my last paycheck, Jimmy. Where's Maurice?" Lisa said curtly.

"He's in the back," he said and then quickly continued. "So I was just telling this fine young gentleman … what's your name again, Sir?"

"Craig," said Craig.

"That's right. Anyway, I was just telling Craig here about how much this Oreck vacuum sucks. I mean, you know … well you know what I mean," said Jimmy.

"Something here definitely sucks," Craig joked.

Lisa laughed.

"HA! You're funny," she said to Craig. "Listen, would you like to grab coffee sometime?"

Jimmy's jaw dropped. Craig was so surprised he just stuttered.

"Uh … um … uh …"

"Great," said Lisa as she handed Craig a small piece of paper and smiled widely at Jimmy. "Here's my number. Call me."

And with a flip of her blonde hair, she turned and strutted off.

Jimmy and Craig stared silently after her until she disappeared around the corner. Then Jimmy punched Craig in the shoulder.

"NOT COOL, DUDE!"

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