Hipster Contractor!

Hey, welcome back to Hipster Contractor, I’m Sebastian Julian Fixie, in case you’re still, like, burdened by society’s need for labels or whatever. Anyway, we’re putting the finishing touches on this 4-bedroom, vinyl-sided monstrosity the Altair family calls a home because they’re too afraid to actually live a little and move into the city where they could experience some real culture.

But whatever. To each their own.

So this is Pablo Helvetica, he’s one of our finishing experts, and he’s going to demonstrate how to attach cabinet doors quickly. Pablo, what’s up, man?

“Oh, man. We missed you at the Dirty Projectors show last night. It was killer.”

Sorry to miss it, man. So tell me your secret about driving screws so fast?

“Uh, I use an electric screwdriver.”

What?! No, man. Not cool. You’ve got to use something organic and original, like a Skil 8-in-1 Palm Driver Set.

“And drive them by hand? Why?”

Because it FEELS better that way, man. You’re in touch with the screw.

“It’s harder.”

But you’re rewarded with sweat. Plus, I bet it can do the same job just as quickly. Let’s race.

“Okay.”

Okay, on your mark. Get set. Go!

ZZZP ZZZP ZZZP ZZZP!

“I’m done.”

I- Fine. Whatever, man. But I still contend I had a better experience driving the screws my way.

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