“Citizen Screw! Being six turns beneath optimal is punishable by… SIGH… a hard repairing.”

“Hi, Rico. How’s it been? Just checking up on ya now that you’re retired.”

Oh… hi, Sandy. Yeah, it’s okay, I guess. Kinda boring.

“Aw, Rico! But you’re keeping busy, right? I saw that ad on Craigslist about your little repair business. ‘I Am The Building Code! Any Questions?’ Surely that’s got to be fulfilling.”

Well, I can’t deny there’s a certain rush to pulling out my Skil Screwdriver Set and knowing that I’m about to bring down a poorly assembled pair of sunglasses, but-

“It’s just not the same?”

Yeah. It’s hard, Sandy. I mean, I figured I’d be in the job forever, you know? And then, one day, they hand me a box with twenty precision bits and and say ‘Thanks, Rico, good luck!’ and suddenly I’m living over a donut factory and going to bed at seven pm.

“I’m sorry, Rico. I guess I should have come by earlier. See, I sort of need your help. You know, on a case?”

A case? Me! Wow! Just let me pull on my helmet and I’ll… wait, you mean a real case, don’t you.

“Yeah, I was hoping you could use your Skil Screwdriver Set to remove this stuck Philips-head on the back of my lunchbox, it’s really hard for me to… oh, wow, I totally phrased that in an insensitive way, didn’t I? I’m sorry, Rico. I didn’t think!”

Don’t worry, Sandy. That’s not a crime. And anyway, I couldn’t do anything about it if it was.

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