I almost led a miserable, empty life by choosing a non-collapsible colander.

Any colander other than the Starfrit Gourmet Silicone and Stainless Steel one would have taken up a lot of room in my kitchen cabinet. Every time I reached for a mixing bowl or baking sheet I would have had to contend with a big, clunky colander in my way! That may not seem like much, but that small amount of stress, built up over dozens and dozens of iterations, would have reduced my capacity to deal with other challenges in life.

So, since my colander wouldn’t have been durable, dishwasher safe, and easy to store, I wouldn’t have been able to deal with my children’s incessant, ear-piercing whining. This, in turn, would have led to isolation, melancholy, and displaced anger. Soon I would have woken up one day and realized that my kids were in their late twenties, we hadn’t spoken in 3 years, and I didn’t even know where they lived. And why should they talk to me? Me, their mother who became so emotionally invested in the proper stowage of her kitchenware that she forgot her own child’s birthday?!?

Luckily this all flashed before my eyes as I was deciding which colander to buy. And now I’ll be able to live a happy, healthy life. But boy oh boy: That was close.

Now let me just pick up a shower loofa and…OH NO…that way lies darkness.

Back to top