Hold on there a minute, my sullen emo buddy. Before you eat those worms, throw a little Dirt on ‘em.

Look, no one feels sorry for you. If you’re looking for pity by sitting in your garden all day diggin’ up wigglers and eating them, you will find no such sympathy from me. But if you’re going to insist on doing this, you could at least make those things a little more palatable.

How about trying a little if this Todd’s Bayou Dirt Seasoning? Will it make it easier for you to start meaningful relationships with people? No. BUT, the sixteen 100% natural seasonings and spices contained within this 3.25oz container should make sucking down worms a whole lot tastier with its great creole/cajun style taste. Good on short ones, fat ones, even itty-bitty skinny ones, or more everyday normal foods like beef, pork, chicken, seafood, and veggies. Plus, it contains no MSG or gluten, and uses Kosher salt in its mix for a lower sodium content.

What’s that? Do I want to join you for “dinner”? Uh, no. No, I would not. Maybe once you’ve climbed out of your pit of despair and ennui, though, we could meet for drinks.

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