If you're going to host a children's show, you've pretty much have to have a talking bench. 

"Welcome to Tiny's Teahouse. We're sure to have a wacky time today, just like every day! Hopefully Benchy is in a better mood today. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Come on inside."

[Tiny's Teahouse intro]

"Hi Fishies!"

"Hi Tiny!"

"Hi Ruggies!"

"Well hello up there, Tiny!"

"HAHAHAHAHA. Hello Benchy!"

"Mrrrffffghffghghghgg. Killllll meee todayyyyy, Tiny?"

"What's that, Benchy? I couldn't hear you!"

"Myyyy liffe so hardddd Tiny. Why youuuu give inanimate benchhh thissss cursssse?"

"Because I needed friends for my tea party! You used to just be a lame old storage bench, but now you're my best friend! That's a gift not a curse, silly. HAHAHAHA."

"Pleeassse, Tiny. Yourrrr laugh givesss Benchy an especial painnnn."

"PAIN, Benchy? Did you say PAIN?"

"Yessssss. It is allllll I knoww, Tiny."

"Funny, because that's our SPECIAL WORD today! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH."

"Hsssssss. Why you torture thisssss poooorr bench?"

"Because I'm a sadist. Do you know what a sadist is, kids? A sadist is someone who derives pleasure from hurting others. Like this."

"Owwww, Tiny. My soliddd woodddd frame cannn only accept so many abusesss."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

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